LAUGH OUT LOUD

 

YOU TEXT HER,

SHE DOES NOT TEXT BACK ,

ITS OK

SHE WAS OBVIOUSLY SO EXCITED WHEN SHE SAW YOUR TEXT THAT SHE FAINTED.

HUSBAND; HONEY TODAY IS SUNDAY AND I HAVE TO ENJOY IT,

SO I BOUGHT THREE MOVIE TICKETS.

WIFE; WHY THREE?

HUSBAND; FOR YOU AND YOUR PARENTS.

OLD MAN STUMPY AND HIS WIFE NEVER AGREED 

ON ANYTHING ,THEY WILL ARGUE ALL DAY

DISTURBING THEIR NEIGHBORS,

ONE DAY OLD MAN STUMPY AND HIS WIFE MARTHA

WENT TO THE ILLINOIS STATE FAIR.THERE WAS THIS MAN

SELLING PLANE RIDES IN HIS SINGLE PROP SHOW PLANE

FOR $10PER PERSON.SO THE PILOT SAW THEM QUARRELING 

AND MADE THEM  A DEAL ,THAT HE WILL TAKE THEM UP WITH HIM

AND GIVE THEM $1OO IF THEY BOTH REMAIN QUIET ,THEY BOTH 

AGREED .

THE PILOT TOOK THEM UP,AND STARTS TO DO LOOP DE LOOP

,DIVES,CLIMBS,AND SPINS.STILL NO SOUND FROM THE COUPLE

.THE PILOT LANDS THE PLANE ,IMPRESSED HE LOOKS BACK

AT STUMPY AND SAYS'' SIR I HAVE TO HAND IT TO YA ,YOU

DIDN'T MAKE EVEN THE SLIGHTEST SOUND AND THAT

WAS MY BEST STUFF''STUMPY LOOKS BACK AT THE PILOT 

AND SAYS ''WELL, I WAS GOING TO SAY SOMETHING WHEN MARTHA 

FELL OUT,BUT $100 IS $100''.

GUYSFACTS (BELIEVE IT OR NOT)

STATEMENT ;I AM ROMANTIC

TRUE MEANING ;'' I AM POOR''

STATEMENT;''I DON'T KNOW IF I LIKE HER''

TRUE MEANING;''SHE WONT SLEEP WITH YOU''

STATEMENT;''ITS BETTER WE JUST FRIENDS''

TRUE MEANING;''YOU UGLY''.

STATEMENT;'' DO YOU LOVE ME ''

TRUE MEANING;''I HAVE DONE SOMETHING STUPID AND YOU MIGHT FIND OUT''.

STATEMENT; ''

DO YOU'' REALLY LOVE ME?

TRUE MEANING;

''I HAVE DONE SOMETHING STUPID AND YOU GOING TO FIND OUT SOONER OR LATER''.

STATEMENT;

''HOW MUCH DO YOU REALLY LOVE ME''?

TRUE MEANING;

''I HAVE DONE SOMETHING REALLY STUPID AND SOME ONE IS ON THEIR WAY TO TELL YOU NOW''.